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“The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves—because we actually believe them.” ~ Anonymous Hey My Brother, Let’s cut through the noise and stop pretending. You’ve lied to everyone else long enough. Your wife. Your kids. Your colleagues. Your friends. But the most dangerous lie of all? The one you keep telling yourself : 

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?" ~ Martin Luther King Jr. Hey Sober Family, I want to take a moment to say something simple, but powerful: Thank you! Whether you’re in recovery or not, your support of this community—and of me—means more than you know. By reading and sharing my newsletters and emails to the men in your life who may be silently struggling with addiction.... you are making a difference. The work I do isn't just about sobriety. It's about saving lives, marriages, families, careers and legacies. Now let me be direct, YOU may not need my help , but I promise you-- you know a man who does . He's got the house, the title, the income. From the outside, it looks like he's winning, has it all together, but behind closed doors, when no one is around to see, he's losing the battle, silently. He's lying to his wife. Hiding liquor bottles in the closets Drinking in the morning before work His career is spiraling out of control because he is not closing deals. Drowning in shame, exhaustion, and regret And no one is saying a word......because he's a "high achiever". He's respected, and maybe even feared. His people are scared to say anything to him for the way he may react. But he's breaking, and fast.

"Before you Judge me, make sure you're Perfect" ~ Hey Sober Family, If you’re a man—especially a man of color—in early sobriety, chances are you’ve felt or are feeling the weight of stigma and judgment. Whether it’s from society, your community, or even your own family, the labels and assumptions placed on you because of your struggles with addiction can feel heavy and deeply painful. People may look down on you, whisper behind your back, call you names like "alcoholic," "addict," "loser," or question your manhood. They say things like, “Why doesn’t he just quit?” or “What’s the big deal?” It hurts. I know because I’ve been there. I’ve been judged, labeled, and dismissed—all because I had a problem with alcohol. And even when I was working hard to get sober, the judgment didn’t stop. But here’s what I learned: You are not your past, and you are definitely not anyone else’s opinion of you. 

"To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise, we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." — Buddha Hey Sober Family, Recovery is all about reclaiming control of your life. And one of the most powerful ways to do that is by taking control of your physical health. When you prioritize your body, you’re also strengthening your mind and spirit, setting yourself up for long-term success in sobriety.

"Spiritual strength fuels lasting recovery." Finding a Deeper Connection with God or a Higher Power in Sobriety Hey Sober Family, If you are trying your best to get sober or are in early sobriety, you may feel like you have lost your way—not just in your relationships, career, or health, but spiritually. Addiction can create a disconnect between you and your faith, leaving you feeling empty, lost, or without direction. But here’s the truth: your spiritual journey doesn’t end because of your past—it begins anew in recovery.

"Your past was just a chapter—your future is still being written. Make it a story of strength and purpose." Hey Sober Family, If you are in early sobriety, you may feel like you’ve lost everything—your marriage, your career, your sense of self. I was there. When the fog finally cleared from my mind, and I made a commitment to my sobriety, I woke up one morning and said to myself, DAMN, I have to start all over. See, when I returned to New York from my last stint in rehab, I had to live with my mother because I had been evicted from my apartment. My wife had already left me—not once, but twice. I had no real savings, and while I still had my job, my career was falling apart because my focus had always been on drinking. I was in a dark and scary place. I even thought about going back to drinking once or twice. But my faith and my commitment to getting and staying sober kept me on the recovery path. I wanted to change. The thought of continuing to drink and what my life would become if I went back down that path was scarier than starting over. Thank God I made the decision to start over and hang in there. Let me tell you something: recovery is your opportunity to rebuild, to create a life filled with purpose, strength, and fulfillment. To take back control of your life, to dream again, set goals, and become a new you. It's possible. I am living proof.

“A man committed to his growth and healing creates space for his family to heal. Your growth will pave the way for love and trust to return.” Hey Sober Family, When I finally admitted to having a problem with alcohol and was in early sobriety, I found myself facing the reality of my marriage being on thin ice. Unfortunately, my marriage ended in divorce, but I am here to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way for you! See an addiction can strain even the strongest relationships, and rebuilding trust with your spouse may feel like an uphill battle or even impossible. For good reasons, your spouse just doesn't trust you anymore. The lies, staying out late or not coming home at all, the cheating, irresponsible behavior, not supporting them. She or He are fed up. But here’s the good news: recovery offers an opportunity not only to rebuild your life but to rebuild your marriage. Trust can be restored with patience, understanding, consistency, and intentional effort. Let's look at some of the ways you can rebuild trust with your spouse:.

“Until you are real with yourself, real change will always be out of reach.” Happy New Year Sober Family, The journey to sobriety begins with a single, powerful step: Asking yourself if you are truly ready to quit drinking and commit to recovery . Wanting to get sober is not just a casual decision; it’s a life-changing commitment. Let’s break down what this step really means and how you can start your sobriety journey with confidence and hope. “Your commitment to sobriety is the key to your recovery journey.”