Standing Strong in Your Recovery: Overcoming Stigma and Judgement

"Before you Judge me, make sure you're Perfect" ~

Hey Sober Family,

If you’re a man—especially a man of color—in early sobriety, chances are you’ve felt or are feeling the weight of stigma and judgment. Whether it’s from society, your community, or even your own family, the labels and assumptions placed on you because of your struggles with addiction can feel heavy and deeply painful. People may look down on you, whisper behind your back, call you names like "alcoholic," "addict," "loser," or question your manhood. They say things like, “Why doesn’t he just quit?” or “What’s the big deal?”

It hurts. I know because I’ve been there. I’ve been judged, labeled, and dismissed—all because I had a problem with alcohol. And even when I was working hard to get sober, the judgment didn’t stop. But here’s what I learned: You are not your past, and you are definitely not anyone else’s opinion of you.



Why Stigma Hurts

Stigma isolates. It tells you that you should be ashamed of your addiction. That asking for help is weak. That addiction is a moral failure. These messages are not the truth. And they keep too many of our brothers from reaching out for the help they need.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Asking for help is a sign of strength. Struggling with addiction does not make you a failure—it means you’re human. Don’t listen to the voices that try to make you feel less than. Focus on your recovery. That’s what matters.

How to Rise Above the Judgment

1. Know Who You Are
You are more than your addiction. You are a father, a brother, a son, a leader. Hold onto that identity and let it fuel your growth. On the other side of this addiction, you’ll be an even better version of yourself—a better father, brother, son, and man.

2. Speak Your Truth
Don’t be afraid to tell your story. Own the fact that you were once down but now you’re rising. Talk about this beautiful path to sobriety that you’re walking. When you embrace your journey, you take away the power of shame and guess what, you might just inspire someone else to begin their own recovery.

3. Build a Supportive Circle
Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you—not those who judge. Join recovery communities that see your value and believe in your future. Connect with other sober brothers and stay in touch. I always say: the best person for an addict who is trying to get sober to talk to is a former addict. Because we get it.

4. Challenge the Narrative
Every day you stay sober and work on yourself, you break the stereotypes. Your life becomes proof that recovery is real. Believe in a brighter, sober future. Have faith—believe it so deeply that it becomes your reality.

5. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Recovery is a process, and healing takes time. Speak to yourself with the same love and grace you’d offer a close friend. God isn’t done with you yet. Don’t be discouraged by who you were—be proud of who you are becoming.



Closing:

You are doing one of the most courageous things anyone can do, facing your addiction and choosing to change. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance or judgment steal that from you. Walk your path with pride, your head held high, and remember, you are not alone.

If you ever feel the weight of stigma, judgment, or shame pressing down on you, I’m here to remind you of your strength and your purpose. Let’s keep moving forward—together.